Note: Reblogged from 09/30/2015

Families are forever.

How do I begin? How can I even put to words what I have witnessed and experienced on this day, September 20th of this year, 2015.  I could tell you the low points of my life and say how hurt I was, but none compared to the pain that wretched through my heart and soul than losing the one most important person in my life. My most kind, compassionate, caring, and loving mother.

She was still producing tears as our family gathered around, crying, saying our goodbyes, and thanking her. I know in my heart she could hear us even when she could no longer open her eyes and speak due to the respiratory ventilator. I know in my heart what she would’ve said if she could. When we first learned she had Leukemia, she said her goodbyes to each of us and we had the opportunity to tell her how much she means to us and how much we love her. Even when it hurt then, we let her speak what she wanted to say. She told us that someday will come that she could no longer speak. Even this, she predicted, only it’s been too soon.

The ICU doctor told us that they have tried everything they can but she was severely septic all over. There was nothing else we could do but wait and continue talking to her. It was the hardest… and the heaviest feeling I’ve ever felt in my heart. I was the last person she saw the night prior and I can’t ever forget the way she gazed at me, as if committing my face into her memory. By past 3 pm the next day, I was holding her cold hand and looked on hopelessly as her vitals steadily drop on the monitor screen. My father and our family inevitably had to make the decision as a family… to turn off the machines and let her go peacefully. By 4:32 pm, everything went flat-lined.

She was one of a kind. I find comfort knowing that she lived such a meaningful life and loved by so many people. It hasn’t been easy for her and my father to raise four of us, their children. Our family has been through thick and thin and she has always been the cornerstone of our family, the source of our comfort and pillar of strength. She was a fine seamstress, dress designer,  a food caterer, cook, crafter, and singer. All of which she didn’t go to school for. She was a learner and when life gave her the rough times, she took the opportunity to learn new skills and develop her own natural talents. Above all, she was a loving wife, mother of four, and grandmother of two.

I find comfort knowing that I was blessed and fortunate to have such extraordinary mother who loved me so much and so true. I have witnessed time and again how compassionate, kind, caring and loving she was, not just to us but to other people as well. She was a great believer of her faith and always taught me her great values in life. Her good examples resonates with me and will continue on for the rest of my days. I will keep her light shining brightly in my heart and will someday pass that light to my future children.

I love my mother, Priscilla.

I love you mama and I thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart… for everything you have done for me and our family. I thank you for having me as your daughter and for your undying love. I thank you for inspiring others including myself to have a fighting spirit and a gentle heart.

You will always be my inspiration and I will keep everything that you were, alive in my heart.