NOTE: 11/13/2017
This was originally posted in my old deleted blog.  It was around a month after I started nursing school. I didn’t know the other significance of this dream until a little more than two years later when my mom was diagnosed with Acute Leukemia and passed away from complications of treatment and infections.

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Dreamt on 5/31/13

So I had a really spontaneous and crazy dream last night, lol.  I suppose it was long enough and had scene sequences that made enough sense to form some sort of story.

I’m with my mom in a car and she’s driving around (she never drove in real life btw) a typical looking residential sub-urb.  I’m just looking out the passenger window not really knowing where we’re heading.  Mom suddenly speaks but I could not piece together what she is trying to convey. She would utter something and the next phrase would be about something entirely different. She also seem to lose control of the vehicle and not knowing which pedal to step on so I instruct her to halt the car. It feels to me that she is having the typical symptoms of dementia.  I get out of the car and proceeds to take over the wheel. [/scene]

I’m in the car again. This time, I’m with my two brothers and my parents.  One of my brothers is driving the vehicle. It appears to me that we are looking for a new place to live. We have nowhere to go and we only have limited stash of cash with us. The place where we are looks like a refugee camp one might see in a desert place. Some tents are set-up a few ways up ahead and to the side are small box-shaped shelters made out of clay. The wind slightly blows dust and sand and the environment looks very dry.

We exit the car and make our way inside one of the boxed shelters. It is a two-story shelter but is only 8 x 12 feet area, enough room for us to lie down.  Everyone’s feeling our awful situation and there’s a heavy aura in the air. I find my mom sitting at the end of this confined space. It seems like her health situation has gotten worse and at this point, could not remember who the rest of her family are.

She is sitting quietly on a stool, hands on her lap, and staring blankly at the space before her. My heart breaks and for a moment, it feels so real. Suddenly, I feel a strong resolve and it consumes me. I move to squat in front of her at eye level. I cup her cheeks with both of my hands and gaze deeply into her eyes. I’m desperate to reach her as I begin to speak into her soul.

“Don’t worry mama.  I’m your daughter right?” I reassure her that I inherit her will to live and resolve problems whenever we are in dire situations.

“Just trust in me.”

With that, the landlord comes over to me and hands me a jersey that I instantly wear over my shirt.  He folds a handkerchief and ties it securely over my forehead. He whips out a pair of MMA style gloves (LOL) and ties my hands securely in them. He nods at me and points toward a huge modern glass building at the distance. Apparently, there’s a fighting competition in there and he nods at me, as if this is all the big moment we’ve all been waiting for. With that, I proceed to exit the clay shack with clenched fists in fighting gloves. [/scene]

Well, it’s got all key elements this week, namely the house moving, body combat and the studies all jumbled into one crazy dream.  I do however, believe that it tells me much more. It’s not to say that mom would develop dementia soon. I sure hope not! But part of this dream does remind me of the resolve I had to progress and move forward. Nursing studies was the result of that and it’s also true that part of why I took it is to make my mom proud. I can’t deny it here.  I have come to love my decision and knowing that my mom would also be delighted that I decided to pursue it is pretty much fulfilling for both of us.

Also, I believe that the moving forward aspect of this dream doesn’t only speak for my studies.  I feel like I’m ready to lead my life, to conquer my potentials and nurture self-growth in all aspect: physically, mentally and spiritually.  All I know and feel right now, is that I’m STRONG.